I’ve been doing a lot of editing lately, and have had a few thoughts I’d like to share below for writers:
Don’t use “So-and-so did [insert action] as [blank] happened.” It’s kind of hard to see what I’m saying without an example, so here’s an example:
John buried his exposed hand deep inside his suit, and grinned as the Duchess walked right up to him.
So, this sentence is already really long, and then you add another sentence to it with the word “as.” Don’t do it. Cut the word “as” and use a period. Have everything after “as” be it’s own sentence.
I used to make this mistake a lot in my first drafts. It sounds clunky. It sounds amateurish. The reason it sounds that way is because it is. The reason I know it is brings me to point number two of this list.
Read books. This should be pretty self-explanatory, but you’d be surprised how many people want (or do) write books without actually reading any. So, the reasons you need to read books before writing your own is the same reason movie directors have to watch movies before ever making their own. Or why anyone who does anything well studied their area of expertise before jumping in.
Reading books will show you what to do and what not to do. Yes, you can break the rules here and there for stylistic reasons, but you have to know what the rules are. Because if you break them constantly without reason, it won’t work. Read books so you can see how other authors write. Even writers who have completely different styles will be following a lot of the same unwritten rules. Those are the rules you need to be following if you want people to read your stuff.
Don’t use “started” or “began.” Examples would be:
He started down the hall.
Kim began singing a song.
I too used to use this one, before I knew better. Just have them do the action. So, sentence one should read: He walked down the hall. In that sentence, started is filling in for a real verb. Started doesn’t even mean anything here, we have to think too much for a simple action. Save the reader’s thinking for more interesting things (let them use inferencing for character motives, and for incoming plot twists that you’ve cleverly sprinkled foreshadowing of!).
In sentence two change it to: Kim sang a song. You might be thinking, “Kenneth, that’s just too simple of a sentence now. It’s downright boring now!” Well, fellow writer, it is boring isn’t it. That’s fine. It’s a simple action, so it gets a simple sentence. Having the word began in there didn’t make it anymore interesting, just longer. If you want to talk about how beautiful (or not beautiful) her singing is, that’s when the sentence will get interesting. Or, maybe this sentence is interesting given context (maybe the world is burning around our characters, and Kim decides to sing a song).
Don’t use “flashed.” Examples would be:
She flashed him a dirty look.
His eyes flashed at her.
The vampire flashed in front of him.
Do these sentence sound corny to you? Hopefully they do. If not, let me explain why they are. They don’t really mean anything. When, in real life, does anyone use flashed as a verb to describe anything but a flash of light? Even the framing of these sentences is boring. To replace these sentences with verbs doesn’t make them sound that much better (they do sound better, but not that much):
She gave him a dirty look.
His eyes glared at her.
The vampire appeared in front of him.
Instead, rewrite the sentences so that they’re more interesting, instead of trying to prop them up with a fake verb. Here are the sentences slightly rewritten with verbs:
She scowled at Mike.
Mike glared at her.
Well, that last one actually sounds good enough, so I didn’t bother rewriting it again (though, you could!). It all depends on context if a somewhat boring sentence will work. But you can’t have your manuscript filled with boring sentences that are propped up by fake verbs. I’m sure there are lots of other fake-verbs people use besides flashed, but it’s one I’ve seen a lot, so I included it in this list.
Well, that’s pretty much it for now. This isn’t a definitive list, obviously. Just a few pointers I think can be helpful. Of course any rule can be broken (except number two. You’ve gotta read books if you’re going to write them), but make sure you know you’re breaking it, otherwise you’re probably going to have a hard time getting anyone interested in reading your book.