Unplugging / by Kenneth Buff

Well, there's a lot of updates I need to make. Lots of new projects and life happenings that I haven't shared. I've been waiting to do so until the time felt right, and for me, it feels right. So I'll start below.

The biggest and most important change is that I am now a father. I have a daughter, and she is amazing. The feelings, and complete happiness that parenthood brings are in themselves things I will have to write about in the near future, as they are truly "life changing," as everyone states, but for me, they're different than the scary sounding words most people either intend to instill in you, or they realize you're going to be incredibly happy, and they just want it to be a surprise? For me, I feel like I haven't thought more clearly in years. My priorities are straight, and I'm just incredibly happy (in a content sort of way. As in, this is the way it's supposed to be, not in a I'm going to a theme park sort of way).

But I want to stop short of going thoroughly into the early feelings and experiences of parenthood I've had, and focus on one specific decision I've made as a result of now being a parent. And that's the decision of unplugging myself from my smartphone. I've made the choice to switch from my iPhone to a Nokia candy bar phone. I've made this decision as I want to be aware, as I am now, of what's going on in the room around me. I want to go out for dinner and talk to the people sitting across from me without getting antsy during the natural lulls in conversation. But most of all I want to be there for my daughter. And for me, having the constant urge to check my Facebook, the news, or any other time hole is not how I want to do it. I've noticed the slow change in my behavior that I once mocked my closest friends for exhibiting. A dependency on their phones that made them seem like metaphorical crack addicts, sniffing at their "feeds" from the glowing rectangle in their hands whenever possible. That, like everyone else I know (minus a few ridiculed outliers), has become me. I find myself tempted to reach down to my plastic stimulus machine while waiting in short lines, slow dinner conversations, and bowel movements.

It's tempting to just shrug our shoulders, and say, "Eh, everybody's doing it. This is just the new normal." But I balk at that. Just because something is ubiquitous, does not make it the best way to live your life. I'm ready to travel back in time a bit, at least in my hand. Honestly, I don't need to know what's happening in the Stillwater Community Watch Facebook Group page all day long. The shit just gives me a headache. I'm pulling the plug, I'll let you know how it makes me feel.